Reading this book was like watching a horror movie. Like jumping into the frigid lake when a cute boy asks you to. Like dancing half naked doing the can-can while midgets run in circles throwing candy at you. (Don't look at me like that)Basically, what I'm saying is that reading this story was painful, but I JUST. COULDN'T. STOP.Can you tell me what kind of story needs to use 98 similes in it to get its point across?This one, apparently.Ninety-eight. Yes, I counted. Because that's what I do. Also, let it be known that I let a few slide. So, let's round up and say there were 100 similes used in Fall Guy. And, abooooooooooout, 2 of them were necessary. If even. And of the 100 that were used, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say a solid 83% of them didn't even make sense.Sometimes similes can be used to create a mood in your book. To give your characters voice. To set yourself apart and be unique.Other times, they can be so overabundant, so misused, so heavy in the text that they do nothing but weigh your book, your words, and your characters down until that's all that the readers notice.Which, honestly, is sad. Because without all those (completely and totally unnecessary) similes, this book could've been something great. In fact, I'd venture to guess I might even have rated it as high as 4.5 stars. Alas, we didn't get a book that was edited down with all the extra shit chopped from it. We got a word heavy book that was in serious need of some trimming.Okay, so besides the need for heavy trimming (and editing), let's talk about the plot of the book. After all, for 2k tiny iPhone pages, there had to be a damn good plot to make me keep reading, right? And there was. That's one thing I love about NA novels is that they're new and fresh. Something different and something that I crave in my books because I love being surprised by what I read. And this really was such a fresh take on, well, it was basically a modern tale Romeo and Juliet, if you wanna get right down to it.The characters in it were fresh and fun, and though I wanted to hate some of their choices (and though I was frustrated and irritated with some of them), I couldn't help but love them. (well, except Winch's parents) The author really did a great job of creating three-dimensional characters, even with the secondary characters, giving them all their individual voices and making them stand out.And the relationship between Winch and Evan was raw and real and passionate, and probably my most favorite thing about the book.Besides the overuse (and blatant abuse) of the similes, some other things rubbed me wrong about the book. For one thing, Evan never seemed like she was in high school. I think she acted much older than she was--her entire life was ran as though she was in college. In my opinion, that was a misstep by the author. I think she could've easily made this college-aged and not have changed much of the story, and I think it would've been more believable. Also, it meandered. A lot. That's another aspect of this book that would've benefited from having a professional editor's eyes on it. This book could've easily--easily--been half the length. I mean, take out the similes and it's down 89,000 words, anyway.Okay, my snark is getting away from me. But if I've said it once, I've said it five katrillion times: IF YOU ARE SELF-PUBBING, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN THE WORLD, HIRE A GODDAMN EDITOR. A real one. Not your friend that does it because s/he knows the difference between their/there/they're, but a real one that can get tough and red pen the shit out of your work to cut through the crap and only leave the best shining through. Because, really, isn't that what every author should want their book to be? The best it possibly can be?Like I said, if that had been done, I predict I would've given this bad boy 4.5 stars. As it stands, though, having to wade through all the BS to find the good story underneath (not to mention double the time in reading), 3 stars is the best I can do.